What will you do to improve?

In 5 days, it will officially be 2014. Every year at this time, people make "New Years Resolutions" and hardly ever stick to them.....myself included. Most resolutions are about losing weight or how they are going to be better organized and less stressed. I came across a journal entry by a pastor titled "4 Things You Need to Say Before 2014" and, due to recent deaths of family & friends, it really hit home with me but not as something I only do before 2014....I want to make these sayings a part of my daily "routine" and say them/show them in a way that people will know that I truly mean them. The 4 things you should tell people are:

1. "I Love You         

2. "I Am Sorry"        

3. "I Forgive You"    

4. "Jesus Loves You"

Some of you are thinking...."I tell people these things all the time!"....but do you mean it? Actions truly do speak louder than words. If you love someone, show them. If you are truly sorry, don't keep making the same mistake. If you have forgiven someone, don't continue to bring it up and make them feel guilty about it. Jesus does love everyone and so should you....we are ALL sinners and the only one who can judge us is God......now I'm about to say something that is going to step on some toes but here goes...."YOU ARE NOT GOD." You do not have the right to judge anyone. You are not better than anyone else nor will you ever be better than anyone else. You are also not in charge of what anyone else does, only the choices you make. Shocker, right????  Do your toes hurt? I know mine do. I said what I did because it is something I have to tell myself A LOT.

There has been a lot of death happening all around me recently....my grandfather, a friend, my husband's friend......and it has really been a reality check about what is most important in this life. God put us on this earth to spread his word and show his love. The best way to show his love is to truly love people yourself. When I say love, I don't mean the romantic notion that is portrayed on TV, movies, or in songs.....I mean making the choice to care about someone regardless of how you feel. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. When it is the end of my time here on Earth, I want people to know without a doubt that I loved them, I am sorry for the wrong I have done, and I have forgiven any wrong done to me. I also want to know that I have done my part in spreading God's word & love. These are not things you should only worry about when you or someone else is about to die but on a daily basis.

So this year, I'm not just making resolutions.......I am making life choices. I am devoting myself to becoming the person that God wants me to be, not what I or others think I should be. Some people will never be happy with me no matter what I do......but as long as I am doing what God is calling me to do, that's all that matters. When God calls me home, I want to be able to say that I fought hard to do all he has called me to do. I challenge everyone who reads this to not just make resolutions for 2014 but to really think about whether you are doing what God is calling you to do or what you think you should do. Happy New Year to all of you!!!

Until next time, remember:
"I love you, I am sorry, I forgive you, and most importantly Jesus Loves You!!"
Natalie

Wow, What a year!......and a day!

The past year has been an extreme emotional roller coaster for me! A year ago, my marriage practically fell apart. Nick & I were both focused more on other things and other people than we were each other until one day when "the crap hit the fan" and we realized something had to be done. We were faced with a huge decision that day.......give up trying and divorce or work our butts off to save our marriage.....obviously we chose the 2nd option. We agreed that we didn't get married to give up when things got tough and we especially weren't going to go against God's will for our lives. We immediately started counseling with our pastor and then with a marriage counselor. I'm not gonna lie.....it was gut wrenching work at times...but through the course of counseling, reading God's word daily, and constant prayer, we made it through! This past summer, on August 2nd, Nick & I renewed our vows. This was a very special time not only because of the commitment we were making to each other but the commitment we were also making to Neela.

During this time, I also lost some friends. Rumors were started about me and I became unwelcome in many places. I can honestly say that I had never felt more shunned in all of my life. I know that I made mistakes and with the help and advice of our marriage counselor and pastor, I worked through my issues and realized that as long as I had sincerely apologized and forgiven them as well as myself, God was pleased. Now don't think for a moment that any of it was easy.....apologizing or forgiving (especially myself)....but it was what God required of me. With time, I began receiving messages of forgiveness from some of the people I had pushed away. I didn't expect the friendships to be anything like what they were before, I was just ecstatic to know I had been forgiven!

Today was another hard day for me but not because of problems in our marriage. I am now teaching Kindergarten at an awesome elementary school and have had to adjust a lot to not only teaching younger students but teaching them so that they meet the common core standards. Today, all of the kindergarten teachers went to a math meeting and to say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement.....pretty much any math meeting stresses me out! Lol! During the meeting, I was evaluating what I have been teaching and what I need to change and incorporate in order for my students to have success and I started feeling very defeated. All too often I feel that I am not enough.....that my students are going to fail because I am not enough for them. So I came home from school very depressed. After praying and reading some of the verses I have highlighted in my Bible, I began to feel much better until I was hit in the face with another dose of reality......I care deeply for those whom I consider to be my friends but that doesn't mean I am going to get the same care in return. Please don't think that I become friends with people because of what they can do for me.....that is not the case at all. I love people for who they are and always make myself available to help or give support in any way I can.......and then, at times, I am told these dreaded words "I'm just too busy." Those words break my heart. I completely understand what it means to be busy.....if I am not spending time with Nick or raising/spending time with Neela, I am either working on things for my classroom or serving at church. I do my best to keep it all balanced but if I have a friend in need....if they need to talk because they are depressed or just want to talk about something exciting going on in their life, I do what I can to make sure I am there for them and that does not mean that I neglect my family by any means.

I know this sounds stupid or even childish to many, but its who I am. I do not appreciate being lied to or ignored and do everything I can not to lie to or ignore anyone because its just plain rude. I have been struggling all night with how to deal with all of these emotions. I didn't want to cry in front of Neela because then it makes her sad and I dread the day she has to start dealing with these same issues. Its easy to say that I am not going to let it bother me but if you know me...the real me.....you know that can't be done. I have been praying and reading my Bible to find answers to how to overcome this but its not something I can do alone. Thankfully, I know that Nick prays for me daily and for specific needs that I have and I know he will do whatever it takes to help me get through this.....but it still hurts like heck! I know this is part of life but I honestly never thought I would be dealing with this stuff at the age of 31. I am sharing this because I know I am not the only one that has felt inferior or unwanted. Its been my experience that when I know I am not the only one dealing with something, it gives new perspective and helps me to realize that it will be ok. Here are some verses & quotes that are helping me get through all of this.

         "Jesus replied, You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." - John 13:7

        "In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" - John 16:33

       "But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength!" - 2 Timothy 4:17

 

I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate you! I didn't write this for a pity party but to give encouragement. With your focus on God, there is nothing you can't get through! 

Love you all!

Natalie 

Guess who!?!

The last time I posted a blog was about a year and a half ago......thought I might give it another try! My life has changed ALOT in since my last post and I feel I have grown a lot as a mom, a wife, a friend, and even just as a person. Like before, my posts are always going to be open and honest so be prepared!  I don't believe in pretending everything is fine & dandy when it's not.....it's just not who I am.

My relationship with God is better now than I ever thought it could be. I have struggled with friendships and other relationships over the past year & a half and it has caused me to fully rely on God and not try to do things on my own. People have come into my life,  some have walked out of my life and then some walked back in and I can honestly say that every one of them was worth the time and effort I put into that friendship/relationship. I have made a TON of mistakes but choose to learn from them instead of constantly punish myself.

Some of the posts I make will be happy and some of them will be hard but that's how life is! My posts will be about my past experiences as well as new lessons I'm learning. I will also include all of the changes that have been made in my life, like my sister getting married (aaaahhhh!!!!) and my new job.  Happy reading!!

Love you all!!
Natalie

My Favorite Things

In honor of my birthday only being 5 days away, I thought I would do a lighthearted blog about some of my favorite things.....you know, in case you still need to get me something :)

I absolutely love 31 products. There honestly isn't anything they sell that I don't love. What makes it even better is that you can get it monogrammed!

I have read more books on my kindle than I ever imagined. I love reading and amazon.com gift cards are awesome!

Like 31, there isn't anything Vera Bradley makes that I don't like. It is more expensive but even a simple checkbook cover makes me giddy!

I received a pandora bracelet for my birthday right before I found out I was pregnant with Neela. I absolutely love this bracelet because I can put charms on it that describe what is most important to me. I got a baby carriage charm when I found out I was pregnant. A little girl charm when I found out I was having a girl. There is also a bible, an angel, a football (needs no explanation), a textbook (teacher), a dog (Bella), a heart (that Nick and Neela gave me on Neela's 1st Valentine's Day), a christmas charm because it is my favorite holiday, a december birthstone for Neela, and a garnet birthstone for mine & Nick's anniversary. I love receiving charms that have meaning behind them!

Having a dog really makes me have to work hard at keeping my home clean and smelling good. Scentsy is awesome! I love many of the scents as long as they dont' smell like trees or anything "outdoorsey." I love the fruit smells, vanilla, cinammon, and spice. I don't think you can ever have to many scentsy products!

Last but certainly not least is Sonic. I am obsessed with Sonic drinks. I go to Sonic every morning to get a large coke or cherry coke (on Fridays). People laugh when I say i want a sonic gift card for a gift but I am so serious.

Well there they are....just some of my favorite things. I am really not a high maintenance girl. Some of the items mentioned may be a little exspensive but that is why I cherish them so when I receive them. I mean really....does Sonic say high maintenance to you? I don't think so.

Have a great week!

Natalie

"It's not my job.."

If you know me, you know that I try way too hard to try and understand everything that is happening around me. It's as if understanding everything will make it easier to take in when in reality all it usually does it cause me more anger. I'm not saying it is this way with understanding people but it is this way with the majority of situations I have found myself in.

One day last week, on my way to school, I was listening to K-Love like usual and a woman came on and said something that was so relevent to me it was scary. This woman was talking about how she was in such turmoil trying to figure everything out and why things happen or don't happen. She said that it was affecting her health and relationship with others. One day while in the midst of all this worrying, she finally stopped long enough to listen to God and here is what he told her..."It's not your job to understand everything. It is your job to live for me and do the best you can with what I have given you." God was saying to me "Natalie! Shut up and let me do my job!" (I know this may sound harsh but you have to be very literal and direct with me.) This caused me to literally say outloud "OK God, I hear you!!"

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this issue of having to know everything and have everything figured out and go the way I plan. But the good news is, there is still hope for us!! Since hearing this woman a week ago, I have had more peace than I have had in a long time. God doesn't want us to stop loving people and standing up for him but he also doesn't want us to continuously worry. He is the Creator of all things and instead of focusing on the bad, we need to be focusing on the blessings.

Trust.....what is it really?

I have started having a lot of trust isues in the past year due to the fact that people I thought I knew to be honest and trustworthy are actually liars and backstabbers. I'm not talking about politics or big business....I am talking about everyday situations. And I know it's not just happening to me! It is happening in job situations and even in churches which confuses me the most!

When I join a church, I am doing so because I trust and believe what is going on there. I trust the church leaders and count on them to be honest and portray christian values. Unfortunately, I am finding more and more that this just isn't the case and it makes me extremely sad. I completely understand that church leaders are people just like I am but when you are chosen and accept to be a leader, you have responsibilities not only to yourself but to those you are leading!

Anyway, other than constant prayer,  the only thing that helps me get through these issues is laughter and wise words. That is why I have included a few comics and some quotes. If you are having the same issues as me, I hope that these help to relieve some of your confusion as well.

“Love all, trust a few.” - William Shakespeare

“I'll start letting my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up.”

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough”

Until next time,
Natalie

Show Us Your Life

Today I am linking up with Kelly over at Kelly's Korner! (She is a dear friend of my aunt and uncle and she knows my sister!) Every Friday, Kelly has a link-up party titled "Show Us Your Life" and she has different categories every week. This week, it's single's week! Now, since I'm happily married obviously this isn't for me! However, my sister is single so I thought I would share about her!

Amy not only my sister, but also my best friend. She is 23 (almost 24 in March) and lives in Bryant, AR!  Amy graduated from Ouachita Baptist University in 2010 and she loved it so much, she decided she wanted to work there! So now she is an admissions counselor and her territory covers mid-south Arkansas and Tennessee.


Amy is a very passionate person. Whatever she is doing, she puts her whole heart into - whether it's her job, her friends, or some of her many talents. (We'll get to those talents a little later!) But one thing she will always be passionate about is her family. She has been the best aunt & godmother to my daughter, Neela Kate, as well as to her other 3 nieces, Alexis, Faith & Addyson! She loves getting to spend time with them and spoiling them! I know she will be a great mother when the day comes!

Amy doing her best friend Kate's make up for her wedding day!

Now on to her many talents. The four things Amy LOVES to do is cook, sing, do hair & make up, and plan events. And I will say that she does all of them amazingly. She fell in love with cooking when she took Home Economics in 9th grade. She has been singing since she could talk! She has done many of her friends' hair & make up over the years, even some for their weddings! And she has been the main event planner for her group of friends- planning showers, vacations and even bachelorette parties!


A few more fun facts:
• She loves to travel, even if its just a few hours away.
• Football and baseball are her two favorite sports.
• She's an avid Razorback fan, but also will cheer for Texas A&M!
• As you can tell in some of the pictures, she changes her hair color every now and then! She's naturally a blonde, and keeps that color for most of the time. But sometimes she'll go brown and most recently, she's had an auburn color!

Amy with her naturally blonde hair :)

My sister is going to make a great wife to one lucky guy someday! If you're interested, just leave me a comment with your info! Or if you'd like to know more - you can check out her blog!! www.amylynnwentz.com