What will you do to improve?

In 5 days, it will officially be 2014. Every year at this time, people make "New Years Resolutions" and hardly ever stick to them.....myself included. Most resolutions are about losing weight or how they are going to be better organized and less stressed. I came across a journal entry by a pastor titled "4 Things You Need to Say Before 2014" and, due to recent deaths of family & friends, it really hit home with me but not as something I only do before 2014....I want to make these sayings a part of my daily "routine" and say them/show them in a way that people will know that I truly mean them. The 4 things you should tell people are:

1. "I Love You         

2. "I Am Sorry"        

3. "I Forgive You"    

4. "Jesus Loves You"

Some of you are thinking...."I tell people these things all the time!"....but do you mean it? Actions truly do speak louder than words. If you love someone, show them. If you are truly sorry, don't keep making the same mistake. If you have forgiven someone, don't continue to bring it up and make them feel guilty about it. Jesus does love everyone and so should you....we are ALL sinners and the only one who can judge us is God......now I'm about to say something that is going to step on some toes but here goes...."YOU ARE NOT GOD." You do not have the right to judge anyone. You are not better than anyone else nor will you ever be better than anyone else. You are also not in charge of what anyone else does, only the choices you make. Shocker, right????  Do your toes hurt? I know mine do. I said what I did because it is something I have to tell myself A LOT.

There has been a lot of death happening all around me recently....my grandfather, a friend, my husband's friend......and it has really been a reality check about what is most important in this life. God put us on this earth to spread his word and show his love. The best way to show his love is to truly love people yourself. When I say love, I don't mean the romantic notion that is portrayed on TV, movies, or in songs.....I mean making the choice to care about someone regardless of how you feel. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. When it is the end of my time here on Earth, I want people to know without a doubt that I loved them, I am sorry for the wrong I have done, and I have forgiven any wrong done to me. I also want to know that I have done my part in spreading God's word & love. These are not things you should only worry about when you or someone else is about to die but on a daily basis.

So this year, I'm not just making resolutions.......I am making life choices. I am devoting myself to becoming the person that God wants me to be, not what I or others think I should be. Some people will never be happy with me no matter what I do......but as long as I am doing what God is calling me to do, that's all that matters. When God calls me home, I want to be able to say that I fought hard to do all he has called me to do. I challenge everyone who reads this to not just make resolutions for 2014 but to really think about whether you are doing what God is calling you to do or what you think you should do. Happy New Year to all of you!!!

Until next time, remember:
"I love you, I am sorry, I forgive you, and most importantly Jesus Loves You!!"
Natalie

Wow, What a year!......and a day!

The past year has been an extreme emotional roller coaster for me! A year ago, my marriage practically fell apart. Nick & I were both focused more on other things and other people than we were each other until one day when "the crap hit the fan" and we realized something had to be done. We were faced with a huge decision that day.......give up trying and divorce or work our butts off to save our marriage.....obviously we chose the 2nd option. We agreed that we didn't get married to give up when things got tough and we especially weren't going to go against God's will for our lives. We immediately started counseling with our pastor and then with a marriage counselor. I'm not gonna lie.....it was gut wrenching work at times...but through the course of counseling, reading God's word daily, and constant prayer, we made it through! This past summer, on August 2nd, Nick & I renewed our vows. This was a very special time not only because of the commitment we were making to each other but the commitment we were also making to Neela.

During this time, I also lost some friends. Rumors were started about me and I became unwelcome in many places. I can honestly say that I had never felt more shunned in all of my life. I know that I made mistakes and with the help and advice of our marriage counselor and pastor, I worked through my issues and realized that as long as I had sincerely apologized and forgiven them as well as myself, God was pleased. Now don't think for a moment that any of it was easy.....apologizing or forgiving (especially myself)....but it was what God required of me. With time, I began receiving messages of forgiveness from some of the people I had pushed away. I didn't expect the friendships to be anything like what they were before, I was just ecstatic to know I had been forgiven!

Today was another hard day for me but not because of problems in our marriage. I am now teaching Kindergarten at an awesome elementary school and have had to adjust a lot to not only teaching younger students but teaching them so that they meet the common core standards. Today, all of the kindergarten teachers went to a math meeting and to say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement.....pretty much any math meeting stresses me out! Lol! During the meeting, I was evaluating what I have been teaching and what I need to change and incorporate in order for my students to have success and I started feeling very defeated. All too often I feel that I am not enough.....that my students are going to fail because I am not enough for them. So I came home from school very depressed. After praying and reading some of the verses I have highlighted in my Bible, I began to feel much better until I was hit in the face with another dose of reality......I care deeply for those whom I consider to be my friends but that doesn't mean I am going to get the same care in return. Please don't think that I become friends with people because of what they can do for me.....that is not the case at all. I love people for who they are and always make myself available to help or give support in any way I can.......and then, at times, I am told these dreaded words "I'm just too busy." Those words break my heart. I completely understand what it means to be busy.....if I am not spending time with Nick or raising/spending time with Neela, I am either working on things for my classroom or serving at church. I do my best to keep it all balanced but if I have a friend in need....if they need to talk because they are depressed or just want to talk about something exciting going on in their life, I do what I can to make sure I am there for them and that does not mean that I neglect my family by any means.

I know this sounds stupid or even childish to many, but its who I am. I do not appreciate being lied to or ignored and do everything I can not to lie to or ignore anyone because its just plain rude. I have been struggling all night with how to deal with all of these emotions. I didn't want to cry in front of Neela because then it makes her sad and I dread the day she has to start dealing with these same issues. Its easy to say that I am not going to let it bother me but if you know me...the real me.....you know that can't be done. I have been praying and reading my Bible to find answers to how to overcome this but its not something I can do alone. Thankfully, I know that Nick prays for me daily and for specific needs that I have and I know he will do whatever it takes to help me get through this.....but it still hurts like heck! I know this is part of life but I honestly never thought I would be dealing with this stuff at the age of 31. I am sharing this because I know I am not the only one that has felt inferior or unwanted. Its been my experience that when I know I am not the only one dealing with something, it gives new perspective and helps me to realize that it will be ok. Here are some verses & quotes that are helping me get through all of this.

         "Jesus replied, You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." - John 13:7

        "In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world!" - John 16:33

       "But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength!" - 2 Timothy 4:17

 

I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate you! I didn't write this for a pity party but to give encouragement. With your focus on God, there is nothing you can't get through! 

Love you all!

Natalie 

Guess who!?!

The last time I posted a blog was about a year and a half ago......thought I might give it another try! My life has changed ALOT in since my last post and I feel I have grown a lot as a mom, a wife, a friend, and even just as a person. Like before, my posts are always going to be open and honest so be prepared!  I don't believe in pretending everything is fine & dandy when it's not.....it's just not who I am.

My relationship with God is better now than I ever thought it could be. I have struggled with friendships and other relationships over the past year & a half and it has caused me to fully rely on God and not try to do things on my own. People have come into my life,  some have walked out of my life and then some walked back in and I can honestly say that every one of them was worth the time and effort I put into that friendship/relationship. I have made a TON of mistakes but choose to learn from them instead of constantly punish myself.

Some of the posts I make will be happy and some of them will be hard but that's how life is! My posts will be about my past experiences as well as new lessons I'm learning. I will also include all of the changes that have been made in my life, like my sister getting married (aaaahhhh!!!!) and my new job.  Happy reading!!

Love you all!!
Natalie

My Favorite Things

In honor of my birthday only being 5 days away, I thought I would do a lighthearted blog about some of my favorite things.....you know, in case you still need to get me something :)

I absolutely love 31 products. There honestly isn't anything they sell that I don't love. What makes it even better is that you can get it monogrammed!

I have read more books on my kindle than I ever imagined. I love reading and amazon.com gift cards are awesome!

Like 31, there isn't anything Vera Bradley makes that I don't like. It is more expensive but even a simple checkbook cover makes me giddy!

I received a pandora bracelet for my birthday right before I found out I was pregnant with Neela. I absolutely love this bracelet because I can put charms on it that describe what is most important to me. I got a baby carriage charm when I found out I was pregnant. A little girl charm when I found out I was having a girl. There is also a bible, an angel, a football (needs no explanation), a textbook (teacher), a dog (Bella), a heart (that Nick and Neela gave me on Neela's 1st Valentine's Day), a christmas charm because it is my favorite holiday, a december birthstone for Neela, and a garnet birthstone for mine & Nick's anniversary. I love receiving charms that have meaning behind them!

Having a dog really makes me have to work hard at keeping my home clean and smelling good. Scentsy is awesome! I love many of the scents as long as they dont' smell like trees or anything "outdoorsey." I love the fruit smells, vanilla, cinammon, and spice. I don't think you can ever have to many scentsy products!

Last but certainly not least is Sonic. I am obsessed with Sonic drinks. I go to Sonic every morning to get a large coke or cherry coke (on Fridays). People laugh when I say i want a sonic gift card for a gift but I am so serious.

Well there they are....just some of my favorite things. I am really not a high maintenance girl. Some of the items mentioned may be a little exspensive but that is why I cherish them so when I receive them. I mean really....does Sonic say high maintenance to you? I don't think so.

Have a great week!

Natalie

"It's not my job.."

If you know me, you know that I try way too hard to try and understand everything that is happening around me. It's as if understanding everything will make it easier to take in when in reality all it usually does it cause me more anger. I'm not saying it is this way with understanding people but it is this way with the majority of situations I have found myself in.

One day last week, on my way to school, I was listening to K-Love like usual and a woman came on and said something that was so relevent to me it was scary. This woman was talking about how she was in such turmoil trying to figure everything out and why things happen or don't happen. She said that it was affecting her health and relationship with others. One day while in the midst of all this worrying, she finally stopped long enough to listen to God and here is what he told her..."It's not your job to understand everything. It is your job to live for me and do the best you can with what I have given you." God was saying to me "Natalie! Shut up and let me do my job!" (I know this may sound harsh but you have to be very literal and direct with me.) This caused me to literally say outloud "OK God, I hear you!!"

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this issue of having to know everything and have everything figured out and go the way I plan. But the good news is, there is still hope for us!! Since hearing this woman a week ago, I have had more peace than I have had in a long time. God doesn't want us to stop loving people and standing up for him but he also doesn't want us to continuously worry. He is the Creator of all things and instead of focusing on the bad, we need to be focusing on the blessings.

Trust.....what is it really?

I have started having a lot of trust isues in the past year due to the fact that people I thought I knew to be honest and trustworthy are actually liars and backstabbers. I'm not talking about politics or big business....I am talking about everyday situations. And I know it's not just happening to me! It is happening in job situations and even in churches which confuses me the most!

When I join a church, I am doing so because I trust and believe what is going on there. I trust the church leaders and count on them to be honest and portray christian values. Unfortunately, I am finding more and more that this just isn't the case and it makes me extremely sad. I completely understand that church leaders are people just like I am but when you are chosen and accept to be a leader, you have responsibilities not only to yourself but to those you are leading!

Anyway, other than constant prayer,  the only thing that helps me get through these issues is laughter and wise words. That is why I have included a few comics and some quotes. If you are having the same issues as me, I hope that these help to relieve some of your confusion as well.

“Love all, trust a few.” - William Shakespeare

“I'll start letting my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up.”

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough”

Until next time,
Natalie

Show Us Your Life

Today I am linking up with Kelly over at Kelly's Korner! (She is a dear friend of my aunt and uncle and she knows my sister!) Every Friday, Kelly has a link-up party titled "Show Us Your Life" and she has different categories every week. This week, it's single's week! Now, since I'm happily married obviously this isn't for me! However, my sister is single so I thought I would share about her!

Amy not only my sister, but also my best friend. She is 23 (almost 24 in March) and lives in Bryant, AR!  Amy graduated from Ouachita Baptist University in 2010 and she loved it so much, she decided she wanted to work there! So now she is an admissions counselor and her territory covers mid-south Arkansas and Tennessee.


Amy is a very passionate person. Whatever she is doing, she puts her whole heart into - whether it's her job, her friends, or some of her many talents. (We'll get to those talents a little later!) But one thing she will always be passionate about is her family. She has been the best aunt & godmother to my daughter, Neela Kate, as well as to her other 3 nieces, Alexis, Faith & Addyson! She loves getting to spend time with them and spoiling them! I know she will be a great mother when the day comes!

Amy doing her best friend Kate's make up for her wedding day!

Now on to her many talents. The four things Amy LOVES to do is cook, sing, do hair & make up, and plan events. And I will say that she does all of them amazingly. She fell in love with cooking when she took Home Economics in 9th grade. She has been singing since she could talk! She has done many of her friends' hair & make up over the years, even some for their weddings! And she has been the main event planner for her group of friends- planning showers, vacations and even bachelorette parties!


A few more fun facts:
• She loves to travel, even if its just a few hours away.
• Football and baseball are her two favorite sports.
• She's an avid Razorback fan, but also will cheer for Texas A&M!
• As you can tell in some of the pictures, she changes her hair color every now and then! She's naturally a blonde, and keeps that color for most of the time. But sometimes she'll go brown and most recently, she's had an auburn color!

Amy with her naturally blonde hair :)

My sister is going to make a great wife to one lucky guy someday! If you're interested, just leave me a comment with your info! Or if you'd like to know more - you can check out her blog!! www.amylynnwentz.com

Free to be me.....

As stated in a previous blog, my new years resolution is to become more confident in myself. What I have found, however, is that in order to do this, I have to come to terms with the real me. I have a lot of "titles" that I am known by....Coach Vaughn's wife, Amy's big sister, JB's little sister, Jeff & Susan's daughter, _____'s teacher, Neela's Mom.... and I love everyone of them. I know how blessed I am to have these but all of these "titles" don't describe the complete me. Looking inward at who I am and how I function is a very frustrating thing sometimes. There are some who claim to know the complete me and yet when I do or say something, it makes them run. Well I have come to a point where I am tired of trying to make myself do or say certain things to please others and not "rock the boat."

So here it is....are you ready for this?

Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I know that he is always in charge and is always there when I need him. I know I don't spend enough one-on-one time with him nor do I turn to him first in situations but these are both things I am working hard on. Some people call me a goody-goody because I don't dress a certain way, watch certain movies or TV shows, or even participate in some activities and if that is what a goody-goody is then yes, I am just that.

I am extremely blunt and to the point when it comes to my expresing my feelings about things. If someone is taking advantage, I'm gonna call them out on it. If I think something is stupid, I'm going to say "that is stupid." In my opinion, if you don't want to be called a jerk or a witch, then don't act like one.

I am passionate about my family. If you cross one of them, watch out cause here I come swinging. People may say "its not your problem" but when you hurt someone I love, it becomes my problem.

I despise dishonesty.......i'd rather be punched in the face than lied to.

I am extremely emotional. I do wear my feelings on my sleeve and I do cry alot. One of my stress relievers is to just sit down and have a good cry.

When I have a problem, 95% of the time I just want someone to listen...not fix my problem.

I struggle with anxiety/panic on a daily basis. I wish this was something I could just take a pill for and it would go away but it doesn't work that way. All I can do is take it one day at a time and do the best with what I've been given. I try and use my experiences to help others get through their struggles if possible.

I love to sing and I am extremely honored when asked to sing, either with a group or on my own. I know I'm not the best but I do give it my best.

As pathetic as it makes me sound, I do long to have friends. I don't handle lonliness very well which is why I get frustrated when Nick has to work alot because he and Neela are all I have in this town. I want someone, who isn't related to me, to actually care about how my day was or if everything is going ok. We have been living in El Dorado for 5 years now and I still have not found where I "fit."

I am not stuck-up. I have been told that when I am thinking about something I look mad and when I don't make up small talk, it seems as though I think  I am better than others. This is truthfully not the case at all. I am not one for making small talk. If I have something to say, I will say it. Otherwise, I am truly happy just listening.

I love to laugh and just be silly. I have a very corny sense of humor and find humor is small things. Maybe this is why I love being around small children....they enjoy being silly too :)

So there you go....there is a glimpse into what I have realized about who I really am. Why did I write all of this? Because I want people to know the truth. I am tired of being something I'm not. I do my best to treat people fairly and expect the same in return. I want friends but only if they accept the true me....not because of one of my "titles."

So until next time, be true to who you are!
Natalie

The new year....

I usually dont make New Year's resolutions because like most people, I don't follow through. But this year I did. I want to work really hard on becoming a more confident person. This is something that I constantly work on with Neela because I don't want her to ever think she needs to compare herself to others or worry about what they think.

My journey on the confidence train has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I still find myself doubting my abilities and everything else about me. I know it is still January but i'm not getting off to a great start. I still get upset when i am treated like crap instead of just realizing if they don't want to be in my life, i don't want them to be either. So why do I care?? I get so stinkin frustrated with myself for caring so dang much.

I do have a question though: Why do people think it is ok to use other people? I mean they will talk to you till they are blue in the face but only when it is about themselves....they don't want to have to hear your struggles. And when you ask them about it, they start to ignore you completely. Then I start to wonder if I was wrong to confront them and what I did to make them not want to be around me. So once again, why do I care?

I guess I will stop ranting now.

Till next time,
Natalie

Happy, Happy Day!

On January 3, 2004, Nick and I began our lives together as husband & wife. He is truly my best friend! I heard an older song on the radio the other day that really reminds me of him! The words are "he thinks i'm pretty, he thinks i'm smart...he likes my nerve and he loves my heart!" This is so true! When I feel (and act) like a psycho crazy lady, he loves me anyway. When I am down on myself about what I don't know, he reminds me of what I do. When I have "fat & ugly days", he tells me i'm beautiful! These are just a few of the reasons why I love him so much. I know for a fact that God chose him for me because he knew he would be exactly what I need!

It has only been 8 years but it feels like forever (and I mean that in a good way!). I feel like I have known Nick my entire life. He has been there for me and with me through a lot of "firsts."  He was there when I was first diagnosed with Panic & Anxiety disorder and instead of allowing me to be upset about it, he was there to talk me through. He was there to encourage me when I went on my first job interview and then again when I started my first day of teaching. He has also been there for my first time to fly, my first misson trip out of the country, my first surgery, and of course my first time to ever become a Mommy! All of these "firsts" were huge milestones in my life and that is why it feels like I have known him for so long.

So enough of the mushy stuff....here are some pics of our wedding day!

I hope you have enjoyed traveling back in time with me! I pray that everyone is blessed with a spouse that loves you and appreciates you for who you are!

Natalie

Traditions

Every family has traditions, especially when it comes to Christmas time. When I think about Christmas, I can't help but think about all the great traditions my family has. One of my favorite memories is going shopping with my Dad. Every year, my dad would take Amy and I (JB was never interested in shopping, shocking i know!) to Little Rock to shop for presents for our Mom. We would also bring money that we saved up and buy gifts for each other. We always went to Park Plaza Mall and would spend the whole day together. I especially loved this because it wasn't often that we got our Dad all to ourselves!

Another set of traditions takes place on Christmas Eve. We all know that there are people who wait till the last minute and still have gifts to buy on Christmas Eve. So my family would go to the mall, get a snack, and sit in the food court watching all the "crazies" running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There was always a lot of laughter which I find to be a great bonding experience!

Every evening on Christmas Eve, all of my Mom's side of the family gets together at my grandparents house. Of course there is food, gifts, and our yearly "grandchildren picture" but also 2 unique activities that are solely created by the grandchildren. Whenever we got together for Thanksgiving, the grandchildren would always hide in a back room and make up a dance that we would then perform for our family on Christmas Eve. One year there was a ballet, another year a tap dance, then jazz, and we even danced to Elvis (where JB wore black sideburns made from construction paper). These dances were always hillarious mainly because most of us aren't gifted in rhythmic movement.

The other activity we do, still continues to this day. Our family creates our own newspaper called "The North Pole News" or "the you-know-what." We still talk about it like our parents and grandparents don't know what we are doing. In this newspaper, we all contribute in some way. There are jokes, puzzles, poems, stories, letters to santa, pictures, and the front page contains the "year end review" where everyones activities for the past year have been summarized. It is alot of fun but I will say I am glad I am not the editor!

On Christmas morning, we were never allowed to go near the presents until Mom had time to make herself "presentable" and Daddy had time to make and drink at least one cup of coffee. The first kid to wake up would wake the others and then our parents. Then we all had to wait in the same room until Mom came to get us. Once she did, it was chaos. We all opened at the same time, yelling excitedly to each other about what we got, and showing Mom & Dad because they of course had no clue what we had gotten.

For lunch on Christmas Day, we would go to my Grandma Wentz's house to have Christmas with my Daddy's side of the family. At this get together, we take turns opening presents one person at a time starting with the youngest and ending with the oldest. When I was younger, there were only 6 of us so it didn't take as long. Now there are great grandchildren involved but it is still fun to see what everyone gets.

When I got married, I inherited more traditions. And now that I am a parent, I am excited about creating more traditions with my own little family. A new series of ornaments came out the year Neela was born and so I started buying her an ornament each year so that when she has her own family, she can take them with her. I also buy her Christmas pajamas that she opens on Christmas Eve and sleeps in that night. I know these are just little things but I want her to have great holiday memories like I do!

I hope you haven't gotten too bored reading about my traditions. I hope that you have sweet memories that you share with your family as well.

Merry Christmas!!
Love,
Natalie

It's baaaack!

Well my anxiety and panic are back. Yep. And they are back in full force. At first I got very discouraged. I didn't understand why this was happening to me again. It started keeping me from going places and being able to sing in church. But this past week I came to the conclusion that I have had enough. After doing some research and talking to people, I am now more determined than ever to overcome this again.

I started to become afraid of having panic attacks. Not only was I becoming afraid of them but I was getting mad at myself for having them. I was calling myself "stupid, crazy, loser, freak, etc." This is the first place that I am going to start working. I have to remind myself that I have gotten through this before and will get through it again. I have to start being more positive towards myself. I know this is going to be tough because I have been this hard on myself my entire life but it can be done. For Nick and Neela's sake, I have to get through this.

With all that said, I am aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful and supportive husband to be my "support person" and work with me to get through this. He doesn't judge me or get mad like it would be easy to do. He is very patient and keeps me calm. Words can't express how thankful I am for him. I have a friend, (no you don't know her) who also struggles with anxiety but her husband is not as supportive. He thinks having to take medication is stupid and that she should just get over it. I know there are a lot of people in the world that feel this exact same way but I can promise they have never had a full fledge panic attack. It will bring you to your knees before you can realize.

So why am I writing all this? why would anyone care? Well I have found the best way to solve problems is to have others pray for you. Also, when others are aware of what's going on, they will hold you accountable for not giving up! I know with God all things are possible. He brought me through this before and will do it again!

Natalie

It's not a game....

Well, I'm going through the big D and don't mean divorce or Dallas......I'm talking about Depression. If you have read previous blogs, you know about my struggle with panic and anxiety. I have never had an issue with depression until just recently and I tried to deny that it was happening to me. I just kept thinking to myself, you have no reason to be depressed. Just get happy and get over it. Well, I couldn't. And until I hit rock bottom, which was two days ago, I wasn't going to admit it.

Like I said, for the past couple of weeks, I would start to feel down but then tell myself that I had too many things to do to just be sad and sleep all the time. I have a husband that I need to be a wife to and a daughter that needs her Mommy. I have no reason to be depressed...I have a husband who loves me, a precious daughter, a job that allows me to provide for my family, and no illness. So I just kept denying the fact that something wasn't "right" with me and put on my "happy face." I did this so well that even Nick and my parents had no clue.

This past weekend things seemed to get out of my control. Saturday morning, I got up with Neela and took care of her and then asked Nick to watch her so I could go back to bed for a little bit. Then 2 1/2 hours after I woke up, Neela went down for her nap and so did I. That night, I had a huge "cry-fest" and then I went to bed early. Sunday morning, I couldn't bring myself to shower and get ready for church. Once again, I slept a little in the morning, went down with Neela for her nap, cried some more and went to bed early. Monday morning, I started having extreme depressive thoughts that were a wake-up call to me. I was absolutely terrified at what was going through my mind and knew that I had to admit I had a problem and get help ASAP. So I did. I called Nick and he was able to call and get me in to the Dr immediately.

After talking with my Dr and making a plan of how we are going to "attack" my depression, I did feel a little bit of hope. I told my family what was going on and they were all very supportive and wanted to know how they could help. My parents drove to El Dorado that night to take Neela and I out to dinner and that helped as well to keep me from being at home alone. Yesterday, seemed a little bit better but I don't know if it is the "placebo" affect of knowing that I am getting help or what.

I do know that this is going to be a day-to-day process. Just like with my panic and anxiety, there is no quick fix to depression. I'm not angry that this is happening to me, I just truly want to be happy again. I want to be the person that Nick married and the Mommy I know I can be to Neela. I am asking that you please add me to your prayer list if you have one and if you don't, then just say a prayer when you think about it. I know God is going to bring me through this like he does everything else but I also believe in the power of prayer. I need prayer warriors now more than ever.!

Love to you all!
Natalie

I just don't get it!

What is the deal with people getting divorced these days??? I know divorce is nothing new but because of Neela I think about it more and more. I am terrified at what this world is going to be like when Neela is at the age to get married. I understand there are times where there is adultery and abuse where it has to happen and I completely agree with that. But to get divorced for ignorant, petty reasons? Really??

While driving to work on Monday, I heard on the radio that Kim Kardashian and her man are getting a divorce after only 72 days. No, there was no cheating or abuse involved. Why are they getting divorced? Well, for many petty reasons  such as they can't agree where to live. Are you freaking kidding me????

I just don't get it! Marriage is not a game!! Getting married is not so you can play house!! People today get married with the thought it their mind that if it isn't exactly what they want it to be, they can always just get divorced. And how do I know this? Because I have heard it with my own two ears!

In my opinion, this is happening for two reasons. The first and most predominate reason is that people are not surrounding their marriage around God and his will for their life. If you don't have a stable relationship with God, you have no business trying to have one with another human being. The second reason is that the majority of people in today's society have never outgrown their "toddler phase." Everything is still "mine" and "what about me" and "i don't like it so i'm not gonna do it" instead of "what can I do for you" and "how can we work together to solve this problem?"

I am so glad that God has blessed me with Nick. He is not perfect but perfect for me. The following quotes from pinterest describe how I feel about him the best:



 



Now that I have posted sappy ones, I do feel the need to post a few humorous ones. One of the great things I love most about Nick is that he finds humor in the same things I do!








Now that I have posted my quotes, I hope that you will join me in helping to make our kids today understand what marriage is supposed to be. Join with me in the "Marriage Revolution!"

Your short friend on a soapbox,
Natalie