I just don't get it!

What is the deal with people getting divorced these days??? I know divorce is nothing new but because of Neela I think about it more and more. I am terrified at what this world is going to be like when Neela is at the age to get married. I understand there are times where there is adultery and abuse where it has to happen and I completely agree with that. But to get divorced for ignorant, petty reasons? Really??

While driving to work on Monday, I heard on the radio that Kim Kardashian and her man are getting a divorce after only 72 days. No, there was no cheating or abuse involved. Why are they getting divorced? Well, for many petty reasons  such as they can't agree where to live. Are you freaking kidding me????

I just don't get it! Marriage is not a game!! Getting married is not so you can play house!! People today get married with the thought it their mind that if it isn't exactly what they want it to be, they can always just get divorced. And how do I know this? Because I have heard it with my own two ears!

In my opinion, this is happening for two reasons. The first and most predominate reason is that people are not surrounding their marriage around God and his will for their life. If you don't have a stable relationship with God, you have no business trying to have one with another human being. The second reason is that the majority of people in today's society have never outgrown their "toddler phase." Everything is still "mine" and "what about me" and "i don't like it so i'm not gonna do it" instead of "what can I do for you" and "how can we work together to solve this problem?"

I am so glad that God has blessed me with Nick. He is not perfect but perfect for me. The following quotes from pinterest describe how I feel about him the best:



 



Now that I have posted sappy ones, I do feel the need to post a few humorous ones. One of the great things I love most about Nick is that he finds humor in the same things I do!








Now that I have posted my quotes, I hope that you will join me in helping to make our kids today understand what marriage is supposed to be. Join with me in the "Marriage Revolution!"

Your short friend on a soapbox,
Natalie

Why?!?

All day long, I have been asking myself "Why is it so hard for me to just let go? Why am I so hard on myself?" And truthfully, I still have no answer. I have started this new path in my life of saying "NO" and it is killing me. I have resigned as the vice president of my schools education association and today I decided I am going to quit grad school because I just don't have the time to commit to courses. I just don't understand why I have so much trouble seeing that I already do so much and it drives me insane!

I teach full-time, I am a mother to Neela and not only a wife but a football coaches wife which means I do everything for Neela right now and constantly miss my husband. I am still involved with choir and praise team at church as well as listening to kids say their verses for awanas and helping with children's choir. This is still more than enough, right? Right? So why can't I convince myself of this? WHY!?!?!?  Why do I feel like I need to be doing more when I know it is going to cause health problems. I'm just very frustrated with this process and feel like a quitter. Ugh.

Please pray for me!
Natalie

I have problems. I have issues.

“I have problems. I have issues. I want and need help with these problems and issues.”

Being able to say those words is something that took a lot of work. I have had many people comment on my blog and say that they don’t know how I am able to put myself and my true feelings out into the world for everyone to read. The only answer I have to that is I am not ashamed of who I am and how I feel. I am an extremely imperfect human being. If anything I am struggling with or have struggled with can help someone else, they I am open to talk about anything and everything. (This too took a lot of personal work to be able to say!)

I don’t care that people know my secrets. I don’t care that people know I have insecurities. Everyone has them whether they want to admit them or not. By writing about them, I am able to think deeper about the “mess” I am in  at that particular moment and think clearer about solutions. So here I am again. Discussing the current issues I am facing and hoping that people don’t see it as whining.

I have struggled my entire life with wanting people to like me and include me. I have tried and tried to get over this infatuation, but just can’t seem to and it really bothers me that I can’t. There are people who are very obvious about the fact that they could care less about what is going on with me or my family. There are people who purposely leave me out of things. (I know this because I have been told to my face.) What bothers me the most is that I have no clue why they feel this way towards me. I have done everything I know to do to resolve issues such as meeting face to face with them and confronting the issue in a calm manner and at the time I thought things would change, but they never did.

 I will be the first person to tell anyone and everyone that “I have problems. I have issues. I AM NOT PERFECT.” I have actually been told to my face several times “you have issues” and I wanted to look at them and say “really? I never noticed!” I try to do what I feel is right. I pray daily begging God to show me how to develop the strength to let go of issues. I don’t want to be a whiner that constantly goes on and on about not having friends but I know I am one. I don’t understand “clicks” of people who won’t let anyone else in and yet consider themselves Christians. I just don’t understand and as much as I pray for God to give me this understanding, it just seems like I’m getting nowhere. 

I have started reading a book titled “Who Pulls Your Strings.” It is about how to break free from being manipulated whether people realize they are manipulating you or not. It doesn’t bash people who do manipulate but it does help people like me who struggle with caring what other people think about them. I am hoping this book, along with daily prayer and talks with God, will help me to become stronger in my own self and be able to look past these issues. By allowing others to upset me, I am allowing others to manipulate me. No one can decide how I am going to feel except me unless I let them. And I don’t want to let them anymore.

So where do I go from here? Well, like I said I will continue to search for resources, books-counselors-mentors, to help me build my own self-esteem. I will continue to reach out to my Heavenly Father to give me guidance. I will also do my best to change my focus from those who don’t want to be in my life to those who do. I know it will be a hard and painful process but God never promised that life would be easy. He actually promised that we would face trials. In my opinion, what sets Christians apart from non-Christians is how we handle those trials. 

I have been blessed with so much in my life. As a little girl, I had dreams of what life would be like when I grew up and I can actually say my dreams have come true. I have my prince in Nick. He treats me like a princess and does everything possible to take care of me financially but most important is emotionally. I am a teacher. I get to work with young children on a daily basis and hopefully impact their lives in a positive way. I am a mother to the most precious little girl I have ever seen in my entire life (and yes, I know I am a little bias!). Neela Kate Vaughn is what I have always hoped for in a daughter and the reason that I was so infatuated with learning how to take care of babies since I was a little girl. I am a member of a wonderful church family and absolutely love that I am able to sing in the choir and praise team!  These are just A FEW of the blessings I have received in my lifetime so far. I haven’t even begun to mention my immediate and extended family and friends!

     

So why write this blog? Why put my “business” out there for everyone to read and comment to their friends about? 2 reasons: 1. There is someone who is going to read this who is going through the exact same problem at this point in their life and they need to know that they aren’t alone. 2. I am who I am and as much as some people obviously don’t like it, I’m not willing to change my core values of honesty and trust. I will not become cold-hearted and shut everyone out. I will continue to open myself up to people. If that means it ends up slapping me in the face, then so be it. Each time makes me stronger. 

I ask that you remember me in your prayers as I work on this new challenge. It won’t be easy but I am ready.

Natalie

"Who's Your Daddy?"

As a teacher, I am reminded daily of just how blessed I am to have a father that I have such a close relationship with that I call him "Daddy."  When I say "Daddy", I don't mean a man who is biologically my father. I mean a man who is my father but also who I have a very close relationship with. This blog is all about the awesomeness of my Daddy and my husband, who is definitely a Daddy to our little girl.

During a youth camp one summer, the pastor would tell stories about his daughter who was 4 at that time. I will never forget when he told us of how someone told his daughter that she was beautiful and she said to them "I know. My Daddy tells me that all the time."  I remember thinking "Wow.....my Daddy is like that too!" I can't explain the bond between and daughter and her Daddy but it is one that cannot compare to any other. When my Daddy says he is proud of me, I get a sense of pride that is much more than any other award I could ever receive! To this day, my Daddy is the one I can go to for anything and I know without a doubt he will be there to help me in any way he can.

At my wedding

Sitting in Daddy's lap....my favorite place to be!

Cheering on the El Dorado Wildcats!

Football Banquet 2011

Walking me down the aisle

I am very excited to say that I married a man who is very much like my Daddy. I had always heard that a girl will marry someone like her father but never believed it until I met Nick. Nick is not only a wonderful husband but he is an awesome Daddy to our daughter, Neela Kate. Her eyes light up when she sees him and I can sense her excitement just like the excitement I have when I know I am going to get to see my Daddy. Nothing melts my heart more than to see the Nick & Neela together, whether it be playing in the floor, taking a nap, or just watching Mickey Mouse. He tells her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her on a daily basis!

Laughing together on the beach

being silly

supporting her Daddy at a football game

playtime after a game

Like I mentioned before, I know how blessed I am to have two men in my life that are awesome Daddys. I hear my students daily talk about how they don't know their dad or their dad doesn't live with them and it breaks my heart. I want so bad to bring them home with me because I know my family would reach out and show them what a true "Daddy" is supposed to be! So to all of you who have awesome Daddys, don't forget to let me them know just how awesome you think they are and how blessed you are to have them!

Loving Life!

My life has become very busy since my last blog but I am loving every minute of it! I am VP of my district's education association, I teach all the 1st & 2nd grade math as well as all the 2nd grade science & social studies, I am still a member of the praise team & choir at church, and have now become a helper in children's choir and Awanas! If I am not busy with any of this, I am cheering on the love of my life at a football game or at home relaxing and playing with the other love of my life, Neela Kate!

My life gets very hectic at times, like most people, and I do get stressed but I also feel very blessed to be able to do so much. I am often asked how I do it all and my answer is this.....I don't think about how much I have to do....I just do it! (you know, like the Nike slogan??) I have learned from being a teacher that people can come up with an excuse for everything! I'm not by any means saying that you need to do as much as what I do but I do feel it is important to be involved in something you are passionate about.

I am passionate about my Savior, my family, and public education. This is why I am so involved in as much as I am. In Sunday School this morning, our lesson was on using your gifts God has given you in the church. I whole-heartedly agree with this! I want my daughter to see that Mommy and Daddy are involved as well as know why we are involved. I want her to grow up in church like I did and thrive on that christian fellowship!

This blog has been a little all over the place and for that I apologize. I do however hope that you are loving life right now and if you aren't, stop looking at the negative and focus on the positive things you can be happy about!

Love you all!
Natalie

Encouragement

At this very moment, some of my family members, coworkers, and friends are struggling with painful issues and my heart hurts for them. I know that is is of no coincidence that God has taught me what he has this week both in church and in my daily devotions. In this blog, I want to share what I have learned in hopes that it will be encouragement for anyone who needs it. I am not perfect and will never pretend to be but I feel the way that God uses me to help people is to simply share my experiences....so here goes.

In Sunday school, our lesson was on forgiveness and I have needed it more than ever this week. I too struggle with people who I have felt betrayed by and it would be easy to just "not go near them" but I don't have that choice because we share a lot of the same "places" in our lives. I have to face them whether I want to or not and the only way to do that without crying everytime is to do my best to forgive just as Christ forgave me. It is not easy at all and I am still working on this with some people but I can't let myself give up and I refuse to become cold-hearted. It's just not who God wants me to be.

In my daily devotions, God has been talking to me about how he is always there and will never crush those who are already weak. This mornings devotion said this "God doesn't mistreat his children. When we hurt financially, emotionally, physically or spiritually, He cares. He sent His Son to prove just how much." The verse today was Isaiah 42:3 (The Message) "He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt." No matter how hurt you are right now, God is still there and He has been there throughout! I have to constantly remind myself that God knew before he even created me that I would go through the circumstances that I do right now. So how do I keep the faith? I have this verse embedded in my memory: 1 Peter 4:12-13 (The Message) "Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner."

I don't want to sound like I am preaching a sermon but that verse gives me chill bumps! It reminds me of everything that Jesus went through so that we can be with him in Heaven and that any difficulty you face today is just a glimpse of what He went through for us! Satan will use whatever he can to pull us away from God and I am afraid he is succeeding with some people very close to me but I will tell you now....God loves you and wants you to turn to him in ALL circumstances! Another verse that I "keep handy" is Romans 5:3-4 which says "Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE." 

Once again, let me say that I am not perfect nor do I have all the answers but I do serve a loving God who does! I am human. I get frustrated and angered. I get overwhelmed and painfully hurt. But I take comfort in knowing that God knew I would go through this and he is using every situation I am in to bring me closer to him. To anyone who reads this, I am begging you....Please Do Not Give Up! God has not left you and wants to give you all of the comfort and help you need!! Please just open your heart and ask him!

I will close by saying this.....I Love You!!

With all my love,
Natalie

I am so blessed!

This blog is probably going to sound very "mushy gushy" to some of you but it just has to be said! I am so" head over heels in love" with my husband and our daughter, it is crazy! What is so crazy about it? Nick is just as invested in this family as I am! Two examples from today will explain what I am talking about.

First example:This morning, like most Sunday mornings, I had to be at church at 8:30 for praise team practice. Nick and Neela always get ready and come too so then we can all go to Sunday school. During practice, I look toward the back of the sanctuary and see Nick and Neela. Nick is holding her where she is facing him, they are dancing nose-to-nose, and he is singing to her. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I honestly feel like I fell in-love all over again!

2nd example: In Sunday school, we were split up in to 4 groups and had to discuss things we liked. Then the last thing we had to do was complete this sentence "I really love ____________." I completed it with "when Nick is at home." Little did I know, Nick (who was in a completely different group) said "being at home with my family." Once again, I melted.

Now, I know a lot of you are thinking this is too sappy and I need to keep my comments to myself but I just can't! I'm not saying we are perfect or even have the perfect marriage/family! What I am saying is that it excites me to know that I am married to a man that is just as much in love with our family as I am. You just don't find that very often in today's society!

If I have offended anyone by writing this, I apologize because I do not mean to make it "in your face" or anything like that. I just feel that sometimes things need to be said.

Goodnight everyone!
Natalie