Encouragement

At this very moment, some of my family members, coworkers, and friends are struggling with painful issues and my heart hurts for them. I know that is is of no coincidence that God has taught me what he has this week both in church and in my daily devotions. In this blog, I want to share what I have learned in hopes that it will be encouragement for anyone who needs it. I am not perfect and will never pretend to be but I feel the way that God uses me to help people is to simply share my experiences....so here goes.

In Sunday school, our lesson was on forgiveness and I have needed it more than ever this week. I too struggle with people who I have felt betrayed by and it would be easy to just "not go near them" but I don't have that choice because we share a lot of the same "places" in our lives. I have to face them whether I want to or not and the only way to do that without crying everytime is to do my best to forgive just as Christ forgave me. It is not easy at all and I am still working on this with some people but I can't let myself give up and I refuse to become cold-hearted. It's just not who God wants me to be.

In my daily devotions, God has been talking to me about how he is always there and will never crush those who are already weak. This mornings devotion said this "God doesn't mistreat his children. When we hurt financially, emotionally, physically or spiritually, He cares. He sent His Son to prove just how much." The verse today was Isaiah 42:3 (The Message) "He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt." No matter how hurt you are right now, God is still there and He has been there throughout! I have to constantly remind myself that God knew before he even created me that I would go through the circumstances that I do right now. So how do I keep the faith? I have this verse embedded in my memory: 1 Peter 4:12-13 (The Message) "Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner."

I don't want to sound like I am preaching a sermon but that verse gives me chill bumps! It reminds me of everything that Jesus went through so that we can be with him in Heaven and that any difficulty you face today is just a glimpse of what He went through for us! Satan will use whatever he can to pull us away from God and I am afraid he is succeeding with some people very close to me but I will tell you now....God loves you and wants you to turn to him in ALL circumstances! Another verse that I "keep handy" is Romans 5:3-4 which says "Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE." 

Once again, let me say that I am not perfect nor do I have all the answers but I do serve a loving God who does! I am human. I get frustrated and angered. I get overwhelmed and painfully hurt. But I take comfort in knowing that God knew I would go through this and he is using every situation I am in to bring me closer to him. To anyone who reads this, I am begging you....Please Do Not Give Up! God has not left you and wants to give you all of the comfort and help you need!! Please just open your heart and ask him!

I will close by saying this.....I Love You!!

With all my love,
Natalie

I am so blessed!

This blog is probably going to sound very "mushy gushy" to some of you but it just has to be said! I am so" head over heels in love" with my husband and our daughter, it is crazy! What is so crazy about it? Nick is just as invested in this family as I am! Two examples from today will explain what I am talking about.

First example:This morning, like most Sunday mornings, I had to be at church at 8:30 for praise team practice. Nick and Neela always get ready and come too so then we can all go to Sunday school. During practice, I look toward the back of the sanctuary and see Nick and Neela. Nick is holding her where she is facing him, they are dancing nose-to-nose, and he is singing to her. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I honestly feel like I fell in-love all over again!

2nd example: In Sunday school, we were split up in to 4 groups and had to discuss things we liked. Then the last thing we had to do was complete this sentence "I really love ____________." I completed it with "when Nick is at home." Little did I know, Nick (who was in a completely different group) said "being at home with my family." Once again, I melted.

Now, I know a lot of you are thinking this is too sappy and I need to keep my comments to myself but I just can't! I'm not saying we are perfect or even have the perfect marriage/family! What I am saying is that it excites me to know that I am married to a man that is just as much in love with our family as I am. You just don't find that very often in today's society!

If I have offended anyone by writing this, I apologize because I do not mean to make it "in your face" or anything like that. I just feel that sometimes things need to be said.

Goodnight everyone!
Natalie

Guatemala Mission Trip: Day 1

I rode on an airplane for the first time today! We left Little Rock National Airport at 9:51 and made it to Houston at 10:50 which was just in time to catch our flight to Guatemala City as they were doing the last boarding call. The flight from Little Rock to Houston was on a smaller plane with two seats on one side and one on the other. I traded seats with one of our team members so that I could sit by someone on “my first flight.” The flight to Guatemala was on a larger plane which made the take-off and landing a little less anxious.  I am very proud to say that I made it through both flights without any anxiety problems whatsoever. I know it is all by God’s grace that this was possible! Unfortunately, the missionaries we were coming to stay with missed their flight this morning and so we sat in a little restaurant/café until they got here……9 hours later! Now that they are here, we are at a hotel for the night and will travel to Huehuetenango (where we will be staying the week) tomorrow. Now I’m going to get some sleep and prepare for a day of 6 hours on the road tomorrow! Love you all! Thanks for the prayers and keep them coming!

Natalie

Mission Trip testimony

I am leaving for Guatemala on a mission trip in 6 days. For this trip, I have been asked to prepare a testimony to share. The testimony didn't have to be about when I was saved but about a time in my life that I had to rely on God the most. I know I have written a previous blog about my trials with becoming pregnant but this was the time in my life when I did have to rely on God the most. Also, what I talk about needs to be something the people in Guatemala can relate to and having children is just that. Below is my testimony for the trip. I would like open and honest feedback about it.

6 years ago, I was diagnosed with Panic & Anxiety Disorder. I was having panic attacks to the point of not being able to leave my own home. After 3 years of trying out different medications and going to therapy, we finally found the right medications for me.  Those 3 years were some of the toughest years of my life. Why? Ever since I was a little girl, all I dreamed about was being a mother to children of my own. Yes, I was ecstatic to find the right combination of medicine to help with my panic attacks but one of those medications would be dangerous for me to be on and become pregnant. During those 3 years, I had many family members and close friends who became pregnant and gave birth to healthy babies. I was very happy for them but every time I found out about them, I would cry and it wasn’t a happy cry…it was a hurting cry. I had tried at different times getting off of this one particular medication but every time I tried, I couldn’t function without it. I had come to the decision that I would never be able to have a child of my own and seriously began looking into adoption. In the fall of 2008, I found another therapist to begin seeing. She opened my eyes to the root of my problem and a lot of healing took place. As a matter of fact, so much healing took place that I was able to get off that medication and became pregnant in the Spring of 2009. Even though I was excited to be pregnant, I couldn’t help but wonder why I was able to do so well now without the medicine than I was before. The realization I came to was that it was when I stopped focusing on my wants for my life and more on what God wants for my life.  1 Peter 4:12-13, it says “Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”  Once I realized that what I was going through was not because God wanted to keep me from experiencing joy, I was more at peace.  God was trying to teach me to depend more on him and less on medication. Romans 5:3-4 says “we can rejoice when we run into problems and trials for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” Today, I am proud to say that I do have a child of my own. On December 1, 2009, my dreams came true and I became a mother! Neela Kate Vaughn came into the world and blessed my life in more ways than I can explain. Every moment I look at her, I can’t help but praise God for allowing me to have such a beautiful gift in my life. 

Once again, please feel free to tell me what you think. 

Thanks!

Natalie 

Feeling stupid......

Have you ever had one of those moments where you find yourself thinking: "Why did I say all that? I probably sounded so stupid. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be quiet?" Well I had one of those moments on the way home from praise band practice tonight. I didn't say anything bad or wrong, I just look back and think I should've just been quiet because talking so much made me look really stupid. Anyway, if you have ever had one of these moments, here are a few quotes that will make you laugh and help you to feel better about yourself.

(On September 17 1994 Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever would you and why ?
Answer: 'I would not live forever because we should not live forever because If we were supposed to live forever then we would live forever but we cannot live forever which is why I would not live forever'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. 

'Smoking kills. If you're killed you've lost a very important part of your life'
-- Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign . 

'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

Hope you enjoyed them!
Natalie  

I'm baaaack!

It's been a while since my last blog, so I decided that I would update everyone (all 7 of my followers....lol!!) on what's been going on.

This summer has been busy to say the least! As soon as school was out, I had two days of traveling to Camden for workshops. The next weekend, I went to Little Rock for the AEA (Arkansas Education Association) Leadership Conference. I am going to be Vice-President of the Strong-Huttig Education Association this next year so it was very beneficial for me to go. That following Monday, the NV3 (that's the nickname I have given our family since we all have the initials NV) headed to Fayetteville. Nick had a coaches conference to attend and Neela and I went to catch up with family & friends who live in NWA as well as some mother/daughter shopping! Wednesday morning, we loaded up and came back to El Dorado only to unpack, do laundry, and pack again for our beach trip.

Neela & I with the cousins!

On Saturday, June 26th, we made the 9 hour trip to Gulf Shores, AL to cash in on our Christmas present from Becky & Bruce which was a week in a beach house! I absolutely loved this trip. Not only were we at the beach but Neela is old enough to play in the sand and water and she loved every minute of it! We got back from our trip yesterday, July 2nd, and still haven't completely unpacked. We are all 3 trying to regain our energy from the wonderful but exhausting vacation. I have included some pics. If you want to see more, there are plenty on my facebook page!!

Ready for the beach!

Total Diva! loving the beach!

family pic!

playing in the water with my girl

The Bruce Holsted Clan

Neela loves her Daddy

What do I have in store for the rest of the summer? Well, I will tell you. Tuesday, July 5th, I travel to Lake DeGray Resort to spend two nights while Neela stays home with Daddy. No, I am not going on a "Mommy Vaca", I have been asked to be a part of the Strong School District's leadership team and we are having our meeting at the resort. I will return from there on Thursday and then Neela and I will head to White Hall to spend the night with my parents on Friday. Nick has a 7-on-7 tournament in Springdale and so Neela & I are jumping on the chance to spend time with Maw-Maw & Pops! Next week, I will travel to Camden 3 days for literacy workshops and then on July 22, I will hop on a plane to Guatemala!! Nick will be on contract with football by this time so Neela will be spending most of the week I am gone with her Maw-Maw & Pops.

I am very excited about going on a mission trip to Guatemala with some of my church family. We will be working in a medical clinic in the mornings and then doing a VBS type camp in the afternoons. We will have one fun day in Antigua before we return home but I am very excited about doing missions. This is my first time on an airplane as well as leaving the country. I know what you are thinking, "Are you crazy?" and my answer to you is "obviously!" I made a promise to myself that I would not let my anxiety and panic attacks keep me from doing God's work and no matter how hard Satan is trying to talk me out of this trip, I am going! When I get back from the trip, I will have a few days to recoup and then professional development starts for me on August 3rd!

So there you go. That is what I have been up to and will be up to until August 15th when school starts. It has been an extremely busy but absolutely wonderful summer for me. I have gotten to spend a lot of time with Nick & Neela and have enjoyed watching Neela experience new things. I am going to do my best to blog while I am on my trip to Guatemala but not sure when I will have time to actually blog again before I leave. So until then, I hope everyone is having a great summer and I my next correspondence will be from Central America!!

Natalie

You mess with the bull, you get the horns...

After reading the title of this post, you are probably thinking I am going to start ranting and raving and name calling about a certain event that has happened in the life of my family a few months ago. Well, sorry to dissapoint but I'm not. Why not? Truthfully, I just don't see the point. No matter what I write, people are going to believe what they want to believe and those who truly know and love my family already know the truth and stand by us.

A few months ago, my father was forced to resign from his position as music minister that he had been for the past 15 years because a couple of men got their panties in a wad. My father is a very honest and loving man and when he saw things happening that he didn't think were right, he spoke up. Was he disrespectful? absolutely not. But there are some people in this world that don't like being told what they did was wrong. I have not been able to tell the truth of this because my father was threatened that if he spoke anything about why he left, his severance package would be terminated. The people who made this decision, were people whose homes I grew up in and whose children I was friends with.

This event has completely disrupted my parents lives in ways that words just can't explain. My father won't sing in church anymore and my mother can't bring herself to play the piano. I am deeply saddened by both of these because I grew up hearing them use their musical talents and now my daughter might not ever be able to. Am I upset by what was done? OF COURSE!! But I'm not going to give these "men" any leverage to hurt my family anymore by calling names.

So back to the title of this post, what does it mean? Well, when Nick and I started dating, he loving compared my family to the mafia and I have to agree. He didn't mean that we do illegal things or kill people, but was referring to how close we are. When you mess with one family member, you mess with us all. So in this case, when these "men" allowed Satan to work in their lives and disrupt my family's lives (because Satan is the one responsible for this!), not only did they mess with one bull, but they messed with at least 20 of them. I will leave the math up to you to determine how many horns are prepared to strike.

I love my family with everything I am. I will do anything for my family and they know that. Does a part of me want to go up to these mean-spirited people and kick them in their man-hood? Yes. But honestly, if you can treat people like this, then you aren't really that much of a man anyway. One day these people will have to answer to God himself about their actions and I have a feeling they will pee their pants in fear. I have no doubt that they know what they are doing is wrong, but they are allowing "power" to control their actions, not their true hearts. I thank everyone who has been true friends to my parents and have actually stood up for them. I also thank everyone for the prayers and ask that they continue because this isn't something that is going to be gotten over any time soon. Right now, all I can do is pray for my parents & family and know that God is in control of all circumstances. I will continue to do everything in my power to make my parents smile every once in a while because as Francesca Battistelli said in her song "Angel By Your Side"...."if I can bring a smile back to your face,  for a moment, you'll forget all about it." 

To all of my family, I love you more than words can express! We WILL get through this together!

With all my love,
Natalie