Traditions

Every family has traditions, especially when it comes to Christmas time. When I think about Christmas, I can't help but think about all the great traditions my family has. One of my favorite memories is going shopping with my Dad. Every year, my dad would take Amy and I (JB was never interested in shopping, shocking i know!) to Little Rock to shop for presents for our Mom. We would also bring money that we saved up and buy gifts for each other. We always went to Park Plaza Mall and would spend the whole day together. I especially loved this because it wasn't often that we got our Dad all to ourselves!

Another set of traditions takes place on Christmas Eve. We all know that there are people who wait till the last minute and still have gifts to buy on Christmas Eve. So my family would go to the mall, get a snack, and sit in the food court watching all the "crazies" running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There was always a lot of laughter which I find to be a great bonding experience!

Every evening on Christmas Eve, all of my Mom's side of the family gets together at my grandparents house. Of course there is food, gifts, and our yearly "grandchildren picture" but also 2 unique activities that are solely created by the grandchildren. Whenever we got together for Thanksgiving, the grandchildren would always hide in a back room and make up a dance that we would then perform for our family on Christmas Eve. One year there was a ballet, another year a tap dance, then jazz, and we even danced to Elvis (where JB wore black sideburns made from construction paper). These dances were always hillarious mainly because most of us aren't gifted in rhythmic movement.

The other activity we do, still continues to this day. Our family creates our own newspaper called "The North Pole News" or "the you-know-what." We still talk about it like our parents and grandparents don't know what we are doing. In this newspaper, we all contribute in some way. There are jokes, puzzles, poems, stories, letters to santa, pictures, and the front page contains the "year end review" where everyones activities for the past year have been summarized. It is alot of fun but I will say I am glad I am not the editor!

On Christmas morning, we were never allowed to go near the presents until Mom had time to make herself "presentable" and Daddy had time to make and drink at least one cup of coffee. The first kid to wake up would wake the others and then our parents. Then we all had to wait in the same room until Mom came to get us. Once she did, it was chaos. We all opened at the same time, yelling excitedly to each other about what we got, and showing Mom & Dad because they of course had no clue what we had gotten.

For lunch on Christmas Day, we would go to my Grandma Wentz's house to have Christmas with my Daddy's side of the family. At this get together, we take turns opening presents one person at a time starting with the youngest and ending with the oldest. When I was younger, there were only 6 of us so it didn't take as long. Now there are great grandchildren involved but it is still fun to see what everyone gets.

When I got married, I inherited more traditions. And now that I am a parent, I am excited about creating more traditions with my own little family. A new series of ornaments came out the year Neela was born and so I started buying her an ornament each year so that when she has her own family, she can take them with her. I also buy her Christmas pajamas that she opens on Christmas Eve and sleeps in that night. I know these are just little things but I want her to have great holiday memories like I do!

I hope you haven't gotten too bored reading about my traditions. I hope that you have sweet memories that you share with your family as well.

Merry Christmas!!
Love,
Natalie

It's baaaack!

Well my anxiety and panic are back. Yep. And they are back in full force. At first I got very discouraged. I didn't understand why this was happening to me again. It started keeping me from going places and being able to sing in church. But this past week I came to the conclusion that I have had enough. After doing some research and talking to people, I am now more determined than ever to overcome this again.

I started to become afraid of having panic attacks. Not only was I becoming afraid of them but I was getting mad at myself for having them. I was calling myself "stupid, crazy, loser, freak, etc." This is the first place that I am going to start working. I have to remind myself that I have gotten through this before and will get through it again. I have to start being more positive towards myself. I know this is going to be tough because I have been this hard on myself my entire life but it can be done. For Nick and Neela's sake, I have to get through this.

With all that said, I am aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful and supportive husband to be my "support person" and work with me to get through this. He doesn't judge me or get mad like it would be easy to do. He is very patient and keeps me calm. Words can't express how thankful I am for him. I have a friend, (no you don't know her) who also struggles with anxiety but her husband is not as supportive. He thinks having to take medication is stupid and that she should just get over it. I know there are a lot of people in the world that feel this exact same way but I can promise they have never had a full fledge panic attack. It will bring you to your knees before you can realize.

So why am I writing all this? why would anyone care? Well I have found the best way to solve problems is to have others pray for you. Also, when others are aware of what's going on, they will hold you accountable for not giving up! I know with God all things are possible. He brought me through this before and will do it again!

Natalie

It's not a game....

Well, I'm going through the big D and don't mean divorce or Dallas......I'm talking about Depression. If you have read previous blogs, you know about my struggle with panic and anxiety. I have never had an issue with depression until just recently and I tried to deny that it was happening to me. I just kept thinking to myself, you have no reason to be depressed. Just get happy and get over it. Well, I couldn't. And until I hit rock bottom, which was two days ago, I wasn't going to admit it.

Like I said, for the past couple of weeks, I would start to feel down but then tell myself that I had too many things to do to just be sad and sleep all the time. I have a husband that I need to be a wife to and a daughter that needs her Mommy. I have no reason to be depressed...I have a husband who loves me, a precious daughter, a job that allows me to provide for my family, and no illness. So I just kept denying the fact that something wasn't "right" with me and put on my "happy face." I did this so well that even Nick and my parents had no clue.

This past weekend things seemed to get out of my control. Saturday morning, I got up with Neela and took care of her and then asked Nick to watch her so I could go back to bed for a little bit. Then 2 1/2 hours after I woke up, Neela went down for her nap and so did I. That night, I had a huge "cry-fest" and then I went to bed early. Sunday morning, I couldn't bring myself to shower and get ready for church. Once again, I slept a little in the morning, went down with Neela for her nap, cried some more and went to bed early. Monday morning, I started having extreme depressive thoughts that were a wake-up call to me. I was absolutely terrified at what was going through my mind and knew that I had to admit I had a problem and get help ASAP. So I did. I called Nick and he was able to call and get me in to the Dr immediately.

After talking with my Dr and making a plan of how we are going to "attack" my depression, I did feel a little bit of hope. I told my family what was going on and they were all very supportive and wanted to know how they could help. My parents drove to El Dorado that night to take Neela and I out to dinner and that helped as well to keep me from being at home alone. Yesterday, seemed a little bit better but I don't know if it is the "placebo" affect of knowing that I am getting help or what.

I do know that this is going to be a day-to-day process. Just like with my panic and anxiety, there is no quick fix to depression. I'm not angry that this is happening to me, I just truly want to be happy again. I want to be the person that Nick married and the Mommy I know I can be to Neela. I am asking that you please add me to your prayer list if you have one and if you don't, then just say a prayer when you think about it. I know God is going to bring me through this like he does everything else but I also believe in the power of prayer. I need prayer warriors now more than ever.!

Love to you all!
Natalie

I just don't get it!

What is the deal with people getting divorced these days??? I know divorce is nothing new but because of Neela I think about it more and more. I am terrified at what this world is going to be like when Neela is at the age to get married. I understand there are times where there is adultery and abuse where it has to happen and I completely agree with that. But to get divorced for ignorant, petty reasons? Really??

While driving to work on Monday, I heard on the radio that Kim Kardashian and her man are getting a divorce after only 72 days. No, there was no cheating or abuse involved. Why are they getting divorced? Well, for many petty reasons  such as they can't agree where to live. Are you freaking kidding me????

I just don't get it! Marriage is not a game!! Getting married is not so you can play house!! People today get married with the thought it their mind that if it isn't exactly what they want it to be, they can always just get divorced. And how do I know this? Because I have heard it with my own two ears!

In my opinion, this is happening for two reasons. The first and most predominate reason is that people are not surrounding their marriage around God and his will for their life. If you don't have a stable relationship with God, you have no business trying to have one with another human being. The second reason is that the majority of people in today's society have never outgrown their "toddler phase." Everything is still "mine" and "what about me" and "i don't like it so i'm not gonna do it" instead of "what can I do for you" and "how can we work together to solve this problem?"

I am so glad that God has blessed me with Nick. He is not perfect but perfect for me. The following quotes from pinterest describe how I feel about him the best:



 



Now that I have posted sappy ones, I do feel the need to post a few humorous ones. One of the great things I love most about Nick is that he finds humor in the same things I do!








Now that I have posted my quotes, I hope that you will join me in helping to make our kids today understand what marriage is supposed to be. Join with me in the "Marriage Revolution!"

Your short friend on a soapbox,
Natalie