It's baaaack!

Well my anxiety and panic are back. Yep. And they are back in full force. At first I got very discouraged. I didn't understand why this was happening to me again. It started keeping me from going places and being able to sing in church. But this past week I came to the conclusion that I have had enough. After doing some research and talking to people, I am now more determined than ever to overcome this again.

I started to become afraid of having panic attacks. Not only was I becoming afraid of them but I was getting mad at myself for having them. I was calling myself "stupid, crazy, loser, freak, etc." This is the first place that I am going to start working. I have to remind myself that I have gotten through this before and will get through it again. I have to start being more positive towards myself. I know this is going to be tough because I have been this hard on myself my entire life but it can be done. For Nick and Neela's sake, I have to get through this.

With all that said, I am aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful and supportive husband to be my "support person" and work with me to get through this. He doesn't judge me or get mad like it would be easy to do. He is very patient and keeps me calm. Words can't express how thankful I am for him. I have a friend, (no you don't know her) who also struggles with anxiety but her husband is not as supportive. He thinks having to take medication is stupid and that she should just get over it. I know there are a lot of people in the world that feel this exact same way but I can promise they have never had a full fledge panic attack. It will bring you to your knees before you can realize.

So why am I writing all this? why would anyone care? Well I have found the best way to solve problems is to have others pray for you. Also, when others are aware of what's going on, they will hold you accountable for not giving up! I know with God all things are possible. He brought me through this before and will do it again!

Natalie